I have not the words to truly describe the last 14 hours.
Last night I was so blessed to sit under the teaching of Voddie Baucham and Nancy Lee DeMoss at the True Woman '10 Conference. And even got to see Kelly from Generation Cedar again. Amazing words from God. I went home and debrief Jeremy on the awesomeness of the messages. I went to bed a little after 11, which is about 3 hours later than I normal go to bed. Yes I know crazy early bedtime.
I awoke at 1:40AM and rolled over and my water broke. Maggie woke up crying and needed much comfort. I awoke Jeremy and told him what was going on and we called my mom. Since I was not having contractions we decided Jeremy would stay with the girls (they do much better with him) and mom would go with me to the hospital. My water continued to gush and trickle adn do all kinds of unpleasant things. While walking into the hospital it continued to gush and by the time I got to admissions my clothes were dripping. Unreal!
They admitted me and we waited for 6 hours for contractions. Nothing. I was 2 1/2 centimeters and nothing. They finally started pitocin at 8:30. Nothing. They upped the dosage and by 11 I was having some hard contractions. After 36 hours of no sleep and no food since dinner, sick babies at home, mental and emotion exhaustion, and of course pain pain pain, I opted for the epidural. By the time the guy was in the room and actually inserting the epidural I knew it was time to push. My midwife was awesome beyond belief in sooooo many ways. By the time the guy was done and she checked the baby was on his way out, literally. But the epidural worked too well. My entire body went completely numb including my arms and face. I couldn't keep my eyes open or even keep myself from leaning too far to one side or carry on a conversation. Only by the grace of God and the skilled help of the midwife.
Zion Taylor was born at 1:03 PM
weighing a mere 7 pounds 6 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long with a head full of black hair.
He was immediately taken away to the warming table and examined and returned to me for a few precious minutes but I was near unconscious and couldn't hold him nor do I even remember trying. He was taken away for observation and the observation was not good.
His lungs are not fully developed and his O2 stats won't hold on their own. He is on a ventilator and has a tube down his windpipe to administer medicine directly to lungs. I will not be able to nurse him or hold him until they see how he is progressing. Looking at a possible few days. I'm only covered for two. He is currently being held in the NICU and we have yet to even be able to see him...4 hours after giving birth.
I have not yet begun to process all this. I am in a state of disbelief. I haven't seen the little guy and cannot even begin to imagine him hooked up to go many machines. I am emotional and hurt and let down. It seems almost everything that could go wrong has.
It is evident to us though that God did use the gestational diabetes to get us to a hospital birth rather than a home birth this time. If we had been at home this would have been an even bigger disaster. The diabetes has had nothing to do with any of this and the little man's blood sugar has been fine during all the test.
I have often wondered why people blog so much when they have babies with special needs and now I know first hand. When you can't see them or hold them there is nothing left to do other than to talk about them. Since I can't carry on a conversation with crying uncontrollably, I can at least blog ,in privacy, between the blurry tears.