A New Year Post

It's a new day, a new month, and a new year and yet my same ol' sin follows me still. Praise the Lord His mercy is new every day and not just at a new year. As look back at the past year, it's a year filled with change and grief and lots of heartache and hard times. I wish I stood looking at the new year ahead and felt like it held a year of better tomorrows but I know that while there will be good moments and good times, I know that the hard times will face me each and every morning. Changes this year brought tears and grief that brought a reaction from me that is expected when a close family member dies. And in part, the change brought a death, a death to the life we knew and loved. It's brought new challenges and changing, strained relationships.

I've never been done to doubt the Bible. I believe that a snake once talked, as did a donkey, I believe that seas can be parted and people can be turned to a pillar of salt. I believe in walking on water and raising from the dead but at times it's so hard to fathom that "all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." It's about holiness, not happiness. It helps to remember that this life is temporary and to look at things in the light of eternity. But this life is hard and it hurts. And there are so many things in my life that directly affect me each and everyday that I NO control over. That's hard. It's scary and a new year of facing that every day is even harder.

But I know that there will some rays of sun in the sky and I know that the clouds will sometimes part. I know there will a rainbow here and there. I know that my precious kiddos will do adorable things and show great signs of maturity and I will weep with joy. I know that I'll laugh at their silly antics and be wallowing in the floor smothering them with kisses. I know that my husband will do his best to come along side me and help me in my grief, although even he cannot understand my pain, nor I his. 2012 went out with an enormous bang, a blow straight through mine and Jeremy's heart, a stab from the world which brought us to our knees; where we should have been anyway.

I want to rise to the challenges that we face. I want to triumph in the face of what I perceive as almost evil. I want it to be said of me that I was a kind woman with sweetness on my lips. But as it stands now, I probably dare not repeat what others might say. I've failed this year in every way possible. And as the new year begins, I pray not that I might eat healthier, or exercise more, or get more sunshine, or be more consistent in lessons or discipline (although all those things I hope to do), but I pray that I might die to self more, that I might life a more humble and meek life, that I would not think of my "rights" and my "comforts" but that I might think of how I might better serve my Savior, my husband, and my family.

The traditional Mother Daughter Cooking Shot

Papa and the Littles

A New Cut for a New Year - Thank you Daddy! 

Our Tea Maker

Our Tea Taster

A new and fabulous potato recipe

The rest of the goodies minus the TO DIE FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE

(do not make it if your New Year's Resolution involved eating healthy or losing weight)

A Table of Sweets